The text this morning is from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, the fifth chapter:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.Thus far the text.
My dear friends in Christ,
Now, you hear the text for today and you think one of two things. The first is, perhaps, unlikely among us, but does exist, Man, Paul was a misogynistic pig. Who does he think he is writing that wives should submit to husbands. The second is much more likely, Man, did pastor step in it choosing to preach on this text this week. And it might be true.
This is a hard text for us in our culture today, and that’s because we get caught up in the first line and we miss the rest. It’s the first line, and it’s a good line, and it’s a true line, but the rest of the passage explains the first line. Before we get into the text, I should say that this passage has been woefully abused by people, even by some in the Church, to denigrate, abuse, belittle women. We all live out our vocations in this life, and wives and husbands are called to different roles within their vocations, wives to submission and husbands to love even to death. Our different roles, however, do not give permission to denigrate another person. God has put them in that role; who are we to make it less than what God sees in it?
I mean, we do this all the time, right? We want to rip verses out of context from the Scriptures and use them to bash people over the head. Because the Bible tells us that adultery and homosexuality are sins, we chase after those people like they’re beating a puppy. Because the Bible tells us that we are His beloved people, we think we can treat others like they’re less than human. That’s how we got slavery. To use this passage in order to justify beating a woman, restraining her, put her in her place, that’s just ridiculous, crazy, sinful, and an abuse of the text.
Rather, this text is loving, tender, sweet. The submission spoken of in the first line isn’t a cowering in the corner; it’s a following after the one who gives everything to you. It’s so hard to think about this realistically because of the sin in our lives. We want to be number one, we want to be independent, we want to make the decisions or whatever it is and not leave it up to anyone else. But, let’s think about it this way, and I mean nothing by bringing an animal into this, but imagine a dog.
A dog just loves you. You take care of it. You pet it. You snuggle with it. You keep it at your side. You feed it. And because of that, the dog just loves you all the more. They can’t wait for you to come home, cry when you leave, listen to your voice. In fact, you love this dog so much, too, that you spend hours and hours training it so that it listens. It knows your voice and what your saying and it delights it to listen because you take delight in that, too.
Let’s talk about this as Paul talks about this: he says this is about Christ and the Church, His bride. Christ pours His Spirit into us, feeding us with His Word and Sacraments, and we learn to hear His voice, not like some kind of prophet, but knowing what He would have us do. He would have us hear His Word, receive the Sacraments, be forgiven of our sins, and then go out and do righteous things to all the people of the world, people whom He has redeemed. He gives Himself over to us, and we, growing in His grace, submit to His leading and He takes joy in this. We are His bride and we submit to Him.
And it’s not as if He doesn’t do anything, right? It’s not as if Jesus is kicking back on the couch, watching football with a beer in hand. He is called to, and He has done it, lay down His life for His Church, love her so much that He allows Himself to be murdered for her sake. He takes the hit so that the Church doesn’t have to. Not that if any of us actually paid the punishment for our sin, it would be enough and God would be pleased, but He takes the hit because we can’t.
Think about it: if you would like to pay the penalty for your sin, it’s forever-death, it’s hell, it’s damnation. For you, there’s no coming back from that. It’s forever and ever. And Christ took that all to Himself, not just for you individually, but for all mankind. He took everyone’s penalty and asked to be punished in our place, that we might be spotless and blameless before God. He got dirty that we might be clean. And it pleased God, in this sacrifice, to raise His Son from the dead, that we might be joined to Him forever, not in some kind of erotic love, but in an intimacy that far exceeds a marriage, an intimacy that is fed and nourished through the Supper as the Lord dwells in us as we eat His flesh and drink His blood.
What would you give for this kind of relationship with God? The Pharisees in the Gospel lesson and the Jews of the Old Testament lesson are of the same ilk: they thought they could earn the love of God and His salvation through their obedience, not just to God’s Law, but to their own man-made laws. They thought this would please Him. But, just as the love between a husband and a wife is indescribable, so it is in God’s love for us; it’s indescribable. Why did God love you before He even created you? Why did He love you before the foundations of the world? Why did He love you in such a way that He sent His Son, God Himself, to die in your place? If you can answer that, you’re a better person than I am. There is no merit or worthiness in us that God should love us, yet He does. And He sends His Son to sacrifice Himself for the sake of us together.
What’s amazing in this, then, is that the union that begins in Baptism, and is completed in the resurrection from the dead, is maintained through this life. Christ has bound Himself to you, in a similar but different way that that between a husband and wife, and you are never to be separated from Him. And He maintains that union by feeding you through your ears in His Word and in your mouth through His Sacrament. He makes you one with Him that you might never come to harm as He has never come to harm. Yes, He died, He was tortured and beaten and mock, but it’s not like He’s dead anymore. Christ Jesus is raised from the dead, never to die again. What can the world do to you if you are in Christ?
He gives up everything for you, even His life, that He might protect you unto that last and final day when He shall bring you out of your grave and you will live forever with Him. And He is always doing this; He’s never stopped. He is always giving Himself to you, and we are always learning what it means to submit, right? We’re trying to figure out that it’s okay to do whatever this man tells us to do because He has never lead us astray, He’s never lead us wrong. We can always do exactly that which He demands, because it’s going to be good for us.
That’s what a husband and wife relationship should be like, because it’s supposed to mirror what Christ and His Church look like. A husband who abuses his wife, or doesn’t care for her, or thinks of her as an object for his own use and pleasure has no idea what love is. He is an unfaithful man, and he deserves nothing but public scorn and shame. He’s supposed to be dying for her, if not physically, then certainly to himself, giving up what he wants for what she needs. He’s supposed to be constantly seeking after her good, even if it leads to his own grave, which it most certainly will. Likewise, a wife who undermines her husband, enticing the family to go her way, to act against him, to mock him and emasculate him is an unfaithful woman, deserving of public scorn and shame. She is supposed to honor her husband as she honors Christ, not as her God, but as the one who is sacrificing all that he has for her.
And that’s what the Church looks like, too, when we go against the Bridegroom. Is it any wonder the world mocks us when we have pastors who are riding into sanctuaries on Harleys just for the sake of entertainment? When we have drum kits that sound louder than the voice of Christ? When we are distracted by our feelings and emotions and sing songs that say nothing of Jesus and that any Muslim could sing in their services? The reality is that the Church is always kicking against Jesus, because we still struggle with sin. And as long as we struggle with sin, we are going to look faithless and the world is going to scorn us.
Yet, because God is faithful and just, when we confess this, our Lord forgives us. And amazingly, in this forgiveness, gives us a call back to righteousness and a desire to follow in His footsteps. We walk in His ways because He has given Himself up for us.
So it is for a man and a woman. The Church goes out and does her righteous deeds; a husband and wife do as well. The Church preaches and teaches; a man and wife teach and discipline their children. The Church washes in Baptism; a man and wife clean their home. The Church feeds in the Supper; a man and wife provides meals for everyone. The deeds of the Church mirror the deeds of the home because we’re all called to walk in the paths of Christ, called to submit to His ways.
Does this seem like a burden? I would hope not. This is the way of Christ, the way we are called to follow Him, to seek after His ways, to keep His Law. And we are not made His bride by doing these things, just like a bride doesn’t earn her marriage by doing things around the house. We are made His bride because Jesus wants us, and so He has us. We don’t earn it, we can’t. But now, being united with Christ through Baptism, buried with Him in His death, and given the promise of the resurrection from the dead, we desire to please God, to submit to Him, for He has given His life over for us. We follow Him for He has given Himself completely over to us; what else could we do? It is the Christian desire. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Now may the peace of God which passes all human understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, our Lord! Amen.
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